Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers
106th Challenge
This week’s prompt comes from The ForesterArtist
Go and have a look!
Red Rust
The group all crouched down, copying her as she looked out into the forest.
“It’s a car,” Carl said.
Everyone relaxed. Laylas walked out toward it, lowering her gun.
“We must be close to the city,” she said.
She ran her hand over the rough, rusted metal. They needed to find medicine for their mother. Only hardened Jaguar Warriors were sent to the city to find anything that the village could use. Laylas imagined the city would look a lot like the car; stripped and laid bare.
“We should stop a while,” she said, looking at Carl. “Rest while we can.”
“No. If Jaguar Warriors catch us, they’ll kill us.”
The rust left red dust on her fingers. Laylas smeared it across her cheek, pretending to be a blooded member of the Jaguars. Carl didn’t find it funny. He licked his thumb and wiped away her stripes.
“You’ll get us killed before they ever find us,” he said. Laylas quickly fell in behind the rest of the group, some rust still on her fingertips.
(174 words)
*Jaguar Warriors were inspired by Aztec Military. I watched a video about it the other day where it was briefly explained. It seemed like a good idea for a post- apocolyptic society. You can read about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaguar_warrior
*Laylas was meant to be Layla, but I accidentally added an S and now I like it.
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Ha I like how you came up with the name Laylas! Good dystopian story, like Hunger Games of Insurgent books – seem to be in vogue at the moment.
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Have you heard of the game Horizon Zero Dawn? It’s also a post-apocalyptic story but with robot dinosaurs. Kind of inspired by that as well. Laylas was a very happy accident!
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Not heard of that – robot dinosaurs sounds immense though 🙂
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I never tire of post-apocalypse stories or dystopias. Must be a flaw in my personality that I enjoy tales about the near destruction of mankind. 🙂
I loved that little detail where the rust comes away on her fingertips. More than anything, I think that pulled me into the story. I could easily imagine (and feel) that in my mind’s eye. Nice job.
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I really like dystopia/post-apocalypse as well. I think people like it because it’s a world that’s familiar, but unknown at the same time. It’s exciting. And you can pretend that you would be a bad ass mother with a barbed wire bat 😉
Thank you for reading!
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Since it is post apocalyptic then they may find that the city truly is much like the old ruined car! Great story!
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I felt as if I was there with them, the sign of a good story. Well done.
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Thank you! 🙂
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So many questions with this. Definitely draws you in.
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Good questions I hope?
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Definitely.
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